Thick as Thieves
by Kalajorn
Summary: Stan and Dipper get revenge for Mabel and Ford's prank. Sequel to "Birds of a Feather"


There was a loud slam from the front door as Grunkle Stan came stomping in. He passed Grunkle Ford, Mabel and Dipper, who were in the kitchen playing cards, on his way to the living room. Dipper heard the recliner creak as he sat down heavily. Grunkle Ford frowned and put down his hand of cards. He headed toward the living room followed by Dipper and Mabel.

"What's the matter?" Ford asked.

Stan gave him a little glare and rubbed a rather large red welt on his arm.

"It's those freaking fairies," He finally said. "I was just out in the woods, minding my own business, when a bunch of the little buggers attacked me. Can't a man have some peace and quiet around here?"

"What did they look like?" Grunkle Ford asked leaning forward a little.

Dipper wondered vaguely were that pencil and notepad had come from.

"Eh, kind of shiny… with big rainbow wings… about five inches tall… really sharp teeth …"

Grunkle Ford's eyes glinted with excitement.

"Was their fairy dust gold in color?" He asked eagerly.

"yeah… how'd ya know?"

Grunkle Ford started pacing, a jittery smile spread across his face.

"What you just described sounds remarkably like a rare species that I've only briefly encountered. I must go investigate at once!"

"Can I come?" Mabel said, bouncing excitedly.

"Sure," Ford said, tousling her hair.

"I'll pass," Dipper said wandering back into In a few minutes Mabel and Grunkle Ford reappeared.

"I can't find my grappling hook," Mable said.

She started looking under various pieces of furniture with no success.

"Do you think you'll be okay without it for now?" Ford asked laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Fairies move quickly and we might lose them if we wait much longer."

Mabel sighed, "It'll be fine for now."

"How about I give you a piggyback ride?" Ford asked.

Mabel let out a high pitched squeal and immediately brightened up. She was up on his back in a second.

"Onward, Sir Fordington. To the fairies," she yelled dramatically.

Grunkle Ford let out a low laugh and they disappeared through the front door. Dipper watched carefully as they disappeared into the woods and then waited about 5 minutes. It wouldn't do to have the surprise ruined by Mabel or Grunkle Ford forgetting something. When he was sure they wouldn't be coming back he jumped off his stool and quickly reentered the living room.

"They're gone," He told Grunkle Stan.

"Excellent," Stan said shutting off the TV.

He heaved himself up from the couch with a groan.

"Ready to head out?"

"More ready than I've ever been for anything," Dipper said with a wicked grin.

Stan smirked and ruffled his hair

"That's my boy."

* * *

"This should be about were Stan ran into the fairy," Ford said stopping at the end of the gorge.

"Do you see anything?"

"Hmm…. Look!" Mabel said suddenly. "Over there!"

Ford followed her pointing finger and saw something glinting in a crack in the stone. They moved quickly toward it and found…

A piece of paper with gold glitter on it?

Puzzled Ford flipped it over.

There was a note on it that read:

 _Roses are red,_

 _Violets are blue._

 _You are a sucker,_

 _And will be very wet soon._

 _~Dipper and Stan_

Ford dropped the letter and slung Mabel under his arm.

"It's an ambush! We have to get to cover," He yelled.

Ford spun on his heel and remembered to his horror that there was no foliage or decent cover of any sort in the gorge. They would have to make it out the end. Before he could even start running he was hit with the first water balloon. He managed to trace were it came from just in time to see Dipper smirking at him from the cliff above them before he received another to the face.

He muttered an alien curse under his breath and started to run. There was a whistle to his right and instinctively he looked. Stan was on the top of the cliff on the opposite side with a super soaker in hand and a shit-eating grin on his face.

Ford cursed again and tried dodging. He managed to avoid the first few streams of water, but his movements were restricted with Mabel under his arm. The third blast scored a hit and he heard Mabel sputter as the water dripped down his side.

Vaguely he heard Stan yell, "Sucker!"

That was it. Ford gritted his teeth together, made sure he had a good grip on Mabel and started running as fast as he could. It was really an impressive gauntlet. Water balloons splashed on all sides of him, some hitting some missing, Stan and Dipper both apparently had a very large arsenal of squirt guns and super soakers. When he reached the end of the gorge there was one last surprise for them… a freaking water balloon catapult.

* * *

Stan and Dipper laughed all the way home. It had been a great success. Definitely worth the three week wait. And the looks on their faces. Priceless! They'd even staged a poorly set up ambush as a red herring a couple days after Mabel and Ford's prank just to make sure they'd be off guard.

The laughter had petered out by the time they reached the Shack, but both of them still had wide grins on. They rounded the corner and saw…

How did Mabel and Ford get back so fast?

They didn't have much time to think about it.

"Vengeance!" Mabel yelled charging Dipper with a water balloon.

"You brought it upon yourselves," Ford said casually pulling out the garden hose from behind him.

After that it devolved into chaos. Dipper and Stan still had some loaded squirt guns. The fight didn't last long, only about five or six minutes. By the end Dipper and Stan were just as soaked as Ford and Mabel.

"So truce?" Dipper asked, laughing at Mabel.

She looked kind of funny with her wet bangs stuck to her face. She smiled in his direction, he wasn't quite sure if she could see him.

"Okay! Truce," She said cheerfully, tackling him into a soggy hug.

"Eww, get off of me," he said shoving her with a grin. "You look like swamp monster with all those sticks stuck to you."

"Rawr," She said chasing after him, to catch him in another hug,

Ford and Stan were leaning against each other looking rather winded. They were both grinning widely.

"Why don't we all get dried off and then we can go watch a movie?" Stan said.

Mabel cheered loudly and charged off into the house.

"Dibs on the bathroom."

"Not if I beat you to it," Dipper yelled charging after her.

Stan and Ford listened to the good natured bickering as they picked up the mess they had made in the yard.

"Not a bad way to spend the day," Stan said still grinning.

"I suppose," Ford said with an overdramatic sigh.

"You still owe me a fairy hunt though. I was pretty excited about that."

Stan huffed, straightening his back as they threw away the last piece of trash.

"All the adventures at sea don't count?"

"Nope," Ford said.

He slung an arm over Stan's shoulder cheerfully.

"I'm afraid you must take me fairy hunting."

Stan heaved a sigh and shrugged Ford's arm off.

"If I have too," Stan said.

He smirked and looped his own arm over Ford's shoulder, pulling him down a little to give him a noogie. Ford grinned and shoved him back, digging his fingers into Stan's sides so his twin let out a squeal. Stab tried to glare at him, but he couldn't keep a straight face. They wandered into the house laughing like children.


End file.
